THE PSAKI ADVENTURE

  • by

Welcome to the Latter Days of the Moderate Intellectual, and the complete overthrow of anyone smarter than that, folks.  Freshly back from the mordant strains of near-death which nevertheless could not claim her, our friendly neighborhood White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki has set about the task of finding the thread of insanity upon which she was pulling before her little date with COVID.  Her recent claims that record inflation is being used as a “political cudgel” against the Biden administration – and that their gargantuan spending bills will, in fact, lower inflation – should shake any sane human being’s conviction that we do not, in fact, live in the dumbest simulation of a universe that could ever be conceived.

The beauty of this is that she’s both lying and not lying in the same instant.  Yes, record inflation is being used as a cudgel against the Biden Administration – in the same sense that if a murderer drops his gun after the act and you pick that gun up and shoot him with it…it’s being used as a weapon against that dude.  

The Biden Administration caused the inflation!  Of course it’s being used against him!

So, as I said, that part’s true, but so what?  It’s called being held to account for the dumb and nefarious stuff you’ve pulled in the short time you’ve been in office.  Some presidents get freaky deaky with people under the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office – this guy seems to have spent his whole presidency thus far sleeping on top of it.  

Have Democrats completely lost their minds!!??*
This poll gives you free access to our premium politics newsletter. Unsubscribe at any time.
This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

So, that’s the truth part.  And the lie part is so outrageously idiotic that you have to wonder how often Jen Psaki sits at home after a long day with a glass of wine and goes, “Did that crap really come out of my mouth?”

Now, to be fair, it is basically the job of the White House Press Secretary to lie for the President – sad but true.  Some people are better at it, and some people probably do their damndest to tell the truth where they can.  But PR is PR, and CYA is the coin of the realm.  The fact that Psaki is about the least believable liar I’ve ever seen doesn’t change this fact.

But when you get on national television in front of the members of the Press, and literally say that massive spending is going to lower inflation…!  Who believes this?  Seriously, who?  Is there some subset of reporters out there who took multiple bricks to the dome as kids and are therefore dumber than the rest of the media, who will actually give credence to this idea?  Not only has what Psaki is saying never happened ever, but multiple striking cases of the opposite can be held up pretty much on command by anybody with a fourth-grade education.  Spending doesn’t lower inflation, folks, in the same way that printing more money like it’s going out of style doesn’t lower inflation.  

Saying that something false is true doesn’t make it true, no matter how much it hurts your little feels that it doesn’t.  Here’s an idea: how about we all agree that we’re only going to stoop to a certain level of B.S. before calling it a day?  How about instead of saying something as stupid as that, you just say, “You know what?  I don’t have a good answer for that – literally the only answer I have is so dumb that I don’t want to say it out loud on camera, for fear that someday it will come back to haunt me.”

Or, you could – you know – not do terrible things to the economy in the first place.  Probably a fantasy, but a boy can dream.